Archive for the ‘religion’ Category

For All You Agnostics

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

All my readers know that I have more patience for Agnosticism than for Atheism, since it’s easier to prove that you don’t or can’t understand something than to call someone a fool for believing something that has neither been dis-proven nor can be.

But enough about that. Today I’m going to answer two questions: “Can God dig a pit so deep that he can’t climb out,” and “Can God make a rock so big that He can’t throw it.”

Before we can answer the questions we have to lay some groundwork. The reason these questions appear so confusing at first is because of the duplicity of the word “can” in the English language. This duplicity is shown in the definition of the word in the Mirriam-Webster online dictionary:

“1 a : know how to b : be physically or mentally able to c —used to indicate possibility ; sometimes used interchangeably with may d : be permitted by conscience or feeling to e : be made possible or probable by circumstances to f : be inherently able or designed to g : be logically or axiologically able to <2 + 2 can also be written 3 + 1> h : be enabled by law, agreement, or custom to”

The word “can” can be used in the sense of a, b, and f; or, alternately, in the sense of c, d, e, or g. In other words, when we hear the story of how George Washington supposedly said, “I cannot tell a lie,” we understand implicitly that he was not saying he lacked the mental, emotional, physical or other capacity to tell a lie. He was saying that he was so determined never to lie that such a thing would never – and indeed could never – happen.

Hence when the non-Agnostic Deist says “God can do anything”, he isn’t claiming that God is *capable* of anything. He’s claiming that there are no limits on God’s abilities or on God’s powers – in other words, he’s over-simplifying the definition of “omnipotence.”

In fact, the Bible itself uses the same grammatical structure as the George Washington story when it states that “God cannot lie.” Obviously we are not to meant to understand that if God wished to lie, He would be unable to do so. All this means is that God has never lied and will never lie. There are no limits on God’s power that would actually prevent Him from lying if He should choose to do so, but since He will never choose to do so, since He is not a liar, since lying is inconsistent with His nature, He cannot lie. In other words, it *can’t* be correct that God lied; the event known as “God lied” can never occur; and, by that definition, God cannot lie.

So we’ve debunked the idea that Christians believe “God can do anything.” Let’s continue our discussion by giving simple answers to these two questions before moving on to the address underlying misunderstanding of God’s nature.

Question 1: Can God make a rock so big that He can’t throw it?

This one is easy. Most see a paradox here, but I don’t. This question is actually a composite of two questions:
A) Is there a size limit for rocks that God could make?
B) Could there exist a rock so large that God couldn’t throw it?

Since we’ve already discussed the misuse of the word “can” in “God can do anything,” let’s take it as an assumption. If God is “omnipotent,” then there are no limits placed on the size of rock He is permitted to create. So the answer to the first question is no.

Again, if God is omnipotent, then there could not possibly exist a rock so large that God be “unable” to throw it, if He chose to (this stipulation is consistent with our definition of “can” as something that describes likelihood of occurrence rather than as something that describes capacity). So the answer to the second question, if we assume that God is omnipotent (which we must, as I will explain momentarily), is also no.

Why must we assume that God is omnipotent? Because if we didn’t, the question would be meaningless. If I were to ask you if you could create a rock so big that you couldn’t throw it, what would you say? That’s easy. “Of course I could.”

The real question is, “If God can do anything, doesn’t that mean He can create a rock so big that He can’t throw it?” But it should be, “If God is omnipotent, does that mean He can create a rock too big to throw,” or, in other words, “Does God’s omnipotence entail the ability to create a rock so big that He can’t throw it?” But I’m getting ahead of myself.

But enough of that, and back to the question. The trouble with splitting the question into two questions and answering them separately is that seem to rely on each other. In particular, the first part relies on the second part. It means, “assuming there could exist a rock so big that God couldn’t throw it, could God have created the rock?” In other words, the first part of the question falsely assumes that the answer to the second part of the question is, “Yes.” Since there is no limit to the size of rock that God can throw, there could not possibly exist a rock so large that God can’t throw it. And since such a rock can’t exist, God “can’t” create one.

“But wait!,” you say. “There’s something God can’t do!” How right you are! We have proven that the statement, “God can do anything,” is false (and that no one really believes it anyway), but we have not disproved God’s omnipotence, or His infinite power. It is precisely because God’s power is infinite that He can’t create such a rock. In other words, no matter how much power is required to throw a rock, that amount of power can’t be greater than the power that God possesses, because God’s power is unlimited. Therefore, even though there is no limit to the size of rock that God can create, the rock (even if the rock had an infinite size), could never become so large as to require a greater amount of power to throw than was at God’s disposal.

To clarify this further, let’s reword the question without changing it’s meaning: “If there existed a rock so large that God couldn’t throw it, could God have created the rock?” Again, let’s assume that “God can do anything,” since, if I were to ask, “If there existed a rock too large for Abraham to throw, could Abraham have created it” is a pointless question and the answer is obviously “yes.”

Now since “God can do anything,” it is unreasonable to believe that such a rock could exist. In other words, the question becomes, “If there existed a rock which could never exist, could God have created it?” Well no. Since the rock doesn’t exist, neither God nor anyone else could have created it.

So much for question 1. The answer is “No. Since God can[possesses the capacity to] do anything, He can’t[definitely has never and will certainly not ever] make a rock so big that He can’t throw it.”

Question 2: Can God dig a pit so deep that He can’t climb out?

We’ve already pretty much debunked this question, so we don’t really need to say anything more. Again, the answer is “no, because there is not, nor could there ever be, a pit so deep that God couldn’t climb out if He chose to, although there is also no limit to the depth of a pit that God could dig.” However, I’d also like to point out that this question overlooks something else about the nature of God, namely, His omnipresence.

Again, let’s break the question down into

A) Is there a limit to how deep a pit God can dig?

If God can do anything, the answer is “no.” In fact, the Bible even states that God is digging or has dug a “bottomless pit” into which He will eventually throw Satan.

B) Could there exist a pit so deep that God could not climb out?

Setting aside omnipresence for a moment, omnipotence alone says “no.” Again, only if the answer to one of these questions were “yes” could the combination of the two become a paradox. And the assumption that God is omnipotent precludes a “yes” answer to either question.

But back to omnipresence. The problem is that God is everywhere. If you jumped into a bottomless pit, you could never fall so far that God would not be present at that depth. Similarly, if you returned to the surface, God would still be there, outside the pit. In other words, God is simultaneously present both inside the pit and outside it. He would have no reason to “climb” out of the pit, and therefore, the question is meaningless. Whenever Christians talk about God “being” or “going” somewhere, it’s a metaphor that refers to His eternal presence at that location.

“Aha!,” you say. “But some Christians teach that hell is the place of separation from God.” Yes, but that separation is alienation. It doesn’t mean that God isn’t there. Even David said in the Psalms, “If I make my bed in hell, behold, You [, God,] are there.”

The real question is, “could God create a hole so deep that He would be trapped inside in the sense that we humans would be? Could such a hole become so deep that He would be unable to travel to or be present at other locations?” For this reason also, the answer is “no.”

You say you’ve found a contradiction? Because the Bible talks about God having a “mouth”, “eyes,” “ears,” “hands,” about God “going” there or “coming” here? To that I say, what is a mouth but speaking? What are ears but hearing? What are eyes (and incidentally, the Bible says that God’s “eyes” are in “every place”) but seeing? When God says, “I will visit my people,” He often means it in very much the same sort of ironic way a gangster means it when he says he’s going to “pay someone a little visit.” These passages are meant to communicate that God sees, hears, knows about, and can manipulate materials and circumstances that are relevant to us in time and space. He does not exist as an unapproachable foreign entity in some other dimension; instead, His ongoing work is evident in our own material world. Likewise, when a human being goes to another place, he must go there from the place where he is. Since God can be in both places at once, He has no such limitation, and can “go” anywhere without departing from where He is.

The Real Issue: Can God Get Himself into a situation He can’t get out of?
A better way to put this is, if God is vested with all power and authority, if there are no limits to what He may (although there are limits to what He can) do, then, can God put an irrevocable limit on His own power?

Let me give an example. While I own my car, I have the authority to drive it. I can smash it with a baseball bat if I want to. I can do anything I want (within the confines of the law, the realm of physical possibility etc.), but as soon as I sell my car, I move into an irreversible position. I no longer have power over the car, and there’s no way for me to get that power back. Since I have the authority to sell or give away my car, I have the power to give up my power.

Back to God. The question I’m asking is, is it possible for God to somehow undo His omnipotence? To remove that attribute of Himself? This is what both questions are really getting at. Can God (by whatever definition of the word “can”), put a cap on His own power?

I think God can and does restrain Himself. However, omnipotence is a characteristic of God – it isn’t a behavior. And if the Bible is to be believed, God’s character never changes. Yesterday, today, and forever, He remains the same. Therefore, in the sense of something that ever will or could possibly occur, God cannot cease to be omnipotent, because He cannot change. Whether He possesses the capacity to make changes to His own character is another question.

You have to remember that God didn’t create Himself. In addition to being omnipresent and omnipotent, He is eternal. Therefore in the sense that George Washington couldn’t lie (according to the story), God cannot change. Because if God could cease to be omnipotent, then by definition He would also cease to be God. (If God is defined as, “that omnipotent being who is eternal, unchanging, and omnipresent).

So the real question, when you boil it down is, “Can God stop being God.” Can a caterpillar become a butterfly is one question, can God (who, by definition, never changes), become anything other than God, is another question altogether. And the answer is no.

The only remaining question is, does omnipotence mean that the omnipotent one would succeed if He attempted to give up his omnipotence? I think that’s an important stipulation because we’ve established that such an attempt will never be made. But if such an attempt were made, would it be successful? I think the definition of omnipotence means that it would. So an omnipotent person could theoretically stop being omnipotent, but God in particular – who, in addition to being omnipotent, never changes – never will; even though He must indeed possess whatever power would be required for Him to do so.

So can God make a rock so big that He can’t throw it, can He dig a pit so deep that He can’t climb out? In short, can God be anything other than God? No. Does that mean God is anything less than omnipotent? No. None of these questions say anything about who God is or what He is like, and they certainly fail to demonstrate that we have no hope of ever understanding Him.

OH… MY… GOODNESS

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

I was listening to Michael Youssef today and he started talking about this conspiracy theory of his… it surrounds the Earth Charter. Ever heard of it?

Well… it’s not a theory. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth_Charter

Check the History section. Mikhail Gorbachev? Plus it’s been endorsed by over 250 universities around the world. And by the US Conference of mayors which consists of… all the mayors of US cities with populations of 30,000 or more.

“The Charter has received opposition from several groups. For example, in the United States, members of religious groups, such as the Religious Right have objected to the document on the grounds that it is secular, and espouses socialism. In addition, some conservatives cite an informal comment by Mikhail Gorbachev that the document is “a kind of Ten Commandments” and point to the fact that at the 2002 World Summit on Sustainable Development in Johannesburg, South Africa, a copy of the document was placed symbolically in an “Ark of Hope” — an independent project by the American artist Sally Linder. A number of conspiracy theorists claim that the founders of the Earth Charter are attempting to establish a global super-state to enforce the Charter.”

Conspiracy theorists, my FOOT! Go and read the bloody thing, it’s written right in there! “In order to build a sustainable global community, the nations of the world must renew their commitment to the United Nations, fulfill their obligations under existing international agreements, and support the implementation of Earth Charter principles with an international legally binding instrument on environment and development. ” (emphasis mine) Also see this page: http://www.earthcharterinaction.org/content/articles/268/1/A-new-Guide-for-Using-the-Earth-Charter-in-Education-/Page1.html

In addition to educators, the charter openly states that it intends to involve governments and the media in it’s mission. It calls for tolerance of all religions, people of any sexual orientation, worship of nature, a “global civil community”, universal healthcare (including free access to birth control) and education, and special attention to the rights of minorities and indigenous peoples. (Someone told me in an email they weren’t sure where the destabilizing influences in the US were coming from… now we know.)

And if you don’t believe this seemingly far-fetched article, then go to the homepage of the Ark of Hope, where they readily admit that the claims about this beastly, blasphemous box of balogna are true – and to samvandina.com (see the section appropriately titled “a third pillar” and the section that describes the “drafting process”.)

I’ve said this before but now I’m REALLY saying it… The End is Near. lol

I gave up…

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

… on waiting until I had an extremely thought-provoking response to the heresy that all non-Jewish governments are also bound by the laws that were handed down to Israel by Moses in the dessert. And if there weren’t enough prepositions in there for ya’, I don’t know what to tell ya’…

Anyways, the contents of my file:

Deut. 12:32 – “What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it.” is often quoted as an argument that we don’t have to follow any of the laws the government makes, as long as they don’t appear in the Bible. I have to say, this is a damnable perversion of scripture. It is, I suspect, intentionally taken out of context. A quick glance through Deut. 12 will reveal that these are laws that were specifically intended ONLY for the children of Israel while they were living in the promised land. The laws didn’t even go into effect for them, until AFTER they possessed their inheritance. (See v. 1, “which ye shall observe to do IN THE LAND…”, v. 10, v. 29. )

Also go back and read the whole of chapter 11, especially v. 8 and vs. 31-32. See also chapter 8, v. 1 and v. 11 – read the whole chapter and then answer this question: to whom did Moses give the commandments. And on what day? (Hint, part of the answer is in chapter 1:1). Also look at chapter 5:1.

Note that this is a continuous dialog. Moses starts his address to the children of Israel in Deut. 1:1 and ends it in Deut. 34:12. You can’t just pull 12:32 right out of the Bible and try to hit us over the head with it.  You can’t separate that verse from all the verses that come before it, about how this was a legal code handed down specifically to the nation of Israel, one they were expected to follow once they entered the promised land.

Then there’s Deut. 4:2… which comes right after verse 1. Forget about verse 1. Don’t look at it, don’t think about it. Verse 2 isn’t for the children of Israel, it isn’t a laying down of the law for that particular nation at that particular time. No, that isn’t stated specifically in verse 1 or anything, really. But don’t look at verse 1 to find out whether I’m lying.

Also, the context isn’t further clarified in verse 5; verse 6 doesn’t make any distinction between the way the Israelites live and the way other nations live; and verses 7-8 don’t a rhetorical question which points out that NO OTHER NATION HAS STATUES AND JUDGMENTS LIKE THESE. No, the covenant that the Lord made with the children of Israel on that day (verse 13) was binding on all governments of all nations until the end of time.  Also don’t bother to check verse 14 and find out, once again, why I can’t believe the covenant doctrine, or whatever it’s called,  is anything but intentional deception.

Even those famous 10 commandments are for the children of Israel. Look at Deut. 6:1-3. I guess those who tell us we are expected to live and die by these 10 commandments, and that we are free to break the law with impunity if it doesn’t limit itself to them, are counting on the fact that most people just look at the commandments all by themselves, and don’t view them as a part of the whole chapter or the whole book, or the whole Bible.

So which parts do apply to me? Well, for starters, probably not the verses that come with an explicit explanation of exactly how and why they don’t apply to me. And for seconds, probably not the infamous verse about how Abraham took up the knife to slay Isaac his son. Boy wouldn’t I be confused, if I had to choose to believe that Isaac was my son, and that I was supposed to take up a knife and slay him? Or that I had already done so? I can’t even begin to fathom what sorts of things would follow from that; In fact, my perception of reality would end up so skewed that it would prevent me from functioning in society. I might even be called insane, because I chose to believe something the Bible clearly was not trying to teach.

This is where that saying, God gave you a brain, use it, comes into play. God doesn’t want us ripping random verses out of the scripture and perverting them to support our anti-social lifestyles. He wants us to compare the way we live to what we find in scripture, honestly. If it doesn’t mesh, then we ourselves, and not our subjective interpretations of scripture, should be adjustmented.

The reason we don’t do this is that we want to give up too early, blaming a faulty understanding of scripture for our own shortcomings, rather than going through the fire and allowing patience to have its perfect work.

But back to the question, which parts of scripture apply to me? Quick answer, Acts 15:1-29. Here the Holy Spirit explicitly states that non-Jews are not to be burdened with Levitican law.

“What then, shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid! How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?” – Rom 6:1&2 I mean, I can hear you saying, “Abraham, all those laws have to be there for a reason. Surely you don’t mean to tell me there are huge sections of the Bible that aren’t applicable to modern-day Christians!?”

Of course not. The Bible is there, as it always has been, to convict us of sin. To reveal the nature of God in contrast with our own sinfulness. To help us grow in faith. I’ll direct you to I Pet. 2:1-3 and Galatians 5-6:1. Also to John 16:7-8.  And Romans 7, particularly verse 7.

And finally, to Hebrews 8:10-13. If you need to be taught laws and codes of conduct in order to live right; if your conscience doesn’t tell you what is right and wrong; if it isn’t pricked when you are tempted to live in violation of the teachings of I Peter 2:12-20, (but esp. v. 16),  and by the example of the Lord Himself in Matt. 17:24-27; if you can’t hear the voice of the Holy Spirit leading you in the right way and convicting you of sin; if the law of love isn’t already written on your heart, then maybe it’s time to find out where you are before the Lord, and whether or not you may be in need of salvation from the death sentence that is found in the law.

On second thought…

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

If you are of a heavily liberal leaning inclination, you may be deeply offended by this post. You have been warned.

Now before you read this article, keep in mind two things.

#1. I strongly disagree with Megan’s position on abortion.

#2. There are two PG-rated words in the article. There are also some other issues with the article, so you may want to be careful about showing it to children. (The article is linked to, but not included, here).

There, it has been disclaimed:

http://meganmcardle.theatlantic.com/archives/2009/06/the_war_on_the_war_on_abortion.php

Having said all that, this is a fairly even-handed, open-minded treatment of the subject… quite a bit more thoughtful than something I would normally expect to come from this quarter.  (I’m sorry for the horrible style… I am writing/riding on a lack of sleep.)  And I find it very interesting that Megan, had she been pro-life, would have been less tolerant of Dr. Tiller than the professor (from my last post on this topic) would have been. In fact, she has such a good argument for Tiller’s demise that I am tempted to come over to her side.

However, I’m not the least bit tempted by this statement: “Moreover, I don’t think many other people believe [abortion is] murder, either, for all that they profess to.  They mostly don’t, for example, want fourteen year old girls who have abortions hauled off to lengthy juvie terms.” Really? She knows what pro-lifers believe even better than they do? Let me tell you (since I am pro-life). No, I don’t want 14-year-old-girls being shipped off to juvenile hall for having abortions… I want them not to have the abortions in the first place. If juvenile hall serves as an adequate deterrent, then yes, send them! Because I do, in fact, consider abortion to be murder, and I would want anyone who committed that crime to be penalized for it.

Of course, you also have to ask yourself who should take the fall for this crime… the doctors, or their victims (the mothers who they deceive)? How easy would it be for abortion doctors to fool them into undertaking this horrific, traumatizing experience if the mothers knew someone who had received a murder penalty for getting an abortion?

Think about it.

Raymond on Mysticism and Faith

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

“The mode of the religious is faith. The mode of the mystic is experience. We do not enact rituals and promulgate dogmas to express our `faith’ that the sun rises in the east, because it is a fact of experience. No more does a true shaman or mystic invest faith in the god(s) he or she invokes; they too are facts of experience. The elevation of `faith’ is, in fact, a sign that a religious tradition is losing its ability to induce theophany, or has already lost it.” – Eric Raymond, 3rd Degree Wiccan

I guess I always knew I was a Christian mystic, and not a member of some dead religion. Funny though… his description of “faith” and “dogma” applies to atheism, just as much as it applies to any other religion.

Gravely Wicked – a quote from Robert P. George

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Whoever murdered George Tiller has done a gravely wicked thing. The evil of this action is in no way diminished by the blood George Tiller had on his own hands. No private individual had the right to execute judgment against him. We are a nation of laws. Lawless violence breeds only more lawless violence. Rightly or wrongly, George Tilller was acquitted by a jury of his peers. “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” For the sake of justice and right, the perpetrator of this evil deed must be prosecuted, convicted, and punished. By word and deed, let us teach that violence against abortionists is not the answer to the violence of abortion. Every human life is precious. George Tiller’s life was precious. We do not teach the wrongness of taking human life by wrongfully taking a human life. Let our “weapons” in the fight to defend the lives of abortion’s tiny victims, be chaste weapons of the spirit.

— Robert P. George is McCormick Professor of Jurisprudence at Princeton University.

From Abraham: Good work sir. I agree with every single word.

Oh, great… thanks, Prejean

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

heh, parental warning.

Donald Trump is a spineless pervert. I just wanted to say that.

Okay… I’m glad Prejean isn’t going to get kicked out of the Miss California contest for decrying homosexuality. She has a right to her opinion and frankly, she deserves a shot at miss America. Punishing someone for being honest about their beliefs is a criminal act.

However… she should have stopped there, because frankly, I don’t get it. “I don’t believe in homosexuality because I’m a Christian.” Really? Is that also why you pose for inappropriate photos?? So, would that be, um, the other part of your Christian testimony? I mean, if I’m mistaken here, would someone be kind enough to correct me?

This is not the kind of witness we need right now. “Yeah, we Christians are just as perverted as the rest of you… but at least we also know how to discriminate.” I know you Christians are thinking, “wait, no, that’s not it… um, you see…”

So for anyone who doesn’t already see through the double standard, okay? The Bible teaches 1) homosexuality is a sin, 2) so is posing for nude photos. There is no double standard in the Bible, just misguided Christians who find it easier and easier to see what’s wrong with everyone else, while they totally miss their own, um, faults… er…

I mean, uh…

Anyway, this whole thing is probably retaliatory libel, and I’d seriously like to hear from anyone who has more info in said vein.

Kill your TV

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Television is worse than an opiate – it alters your thinking. Not only does it make you happy and give you whatever you want so that you’ll keep producing for the good of society, it gradually forms your opinions for you. Seriously, you think more than 50% of our population would have voted for a bleeding-heart fascist if they hadn’t had their minds plugged into the boob tube?

If you want to throw off the shackles of conformity, start by getting rid of your television. If you think voting for president B.O. was a radical, audacious  move on your part, how come he won the simple majority?

You can thank your television for Obama.

Eyebrow Raisers

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

Have you ever met a ‘bear robbed of her cubs’? You know, a really teeth-bearing, unreasoning, desperate, ready for some hard-core limb-ripping action Panda, Koala or what-have-you? Neither have I, but some days, I think it might be a nice change…

I’d like to take the day off and go to school, maybe hand out signs. “Here’s yours. Here’s yours. Ooo, and you DEFINATLY need one. (saw it spelled like this on an old-school BBS one time. Truly amazing.) And, I don’t usually do this, but in your case maybe you’d like a loud siren to go with it??”

Oh, and here’s one. Sure, the Lord made all things, “even the fool for the day of destruction…” but couldn’t He have at least provided some kind of fire safety net, to keep the rest of us from running across their Pathway to an Unspeakable Demise? Seriously…

Don’t bother reviewing this post, by the way; I’ll do it myself. “If this is his idea of a catharsis, then I’d hate to see masoc__sm. This just goes to show that if a stronger, freer spirit does or says anything to hurt your pride, you can always sanctimoniously dehumanize them without fear of reprisal.”

P.S. Imagine… Christian Tourette’s. “Hey, could you HALLELUJAH! hand me the wrench? I want to f-f- REPENT! fix the sink. PRAISE JESUS!”

Chris Rice should get a job.

Friday, February 6th, 2009

Seriously, there is no excuse for this- it’s pure stupidity. Now, to be fair, these are just the lyrics; on the actual recording, he does a fairly good impression of each of these characters. But it must take an incredible amount of “spiritual salesmanship” and shameless hypocrisy to try and turn this into some kind of inspiring Christian message. Not to mention the amount of ammunition it gives to Christian-haters and the anti-rock crowd. Does he really think his Christian fans are so rigid and shallow, that fun makes us feel guilty  unless it’s the most religious and spiritual kind?

Anyway, here are the lyrics:

I was thinkin’ the other day,
“What if cartoons got saved?
They’d start singing praise
In a whole new way…”
Yeah, I was thinkin’ the other day,
“What if cartoons got saved?
They’d start singing praise
In a whole new way…”

Fred and Wilma Flintstone
Sing “Yabba-dabba-do-lu-yah”
Scooby-doo and Shaggy:
“Scooby-dooby-doo-loo-yah”
And the Jetsons’ dog named Astro:
“Rough-ray-roo-loo-yah”

(repeat chorus)

Teenage Mutant Ninga Turtles:
“Cowabunga-loo-yah, Dude!”
Then there’s, “Kermit the Frog here, singing,
High-ho-le-loo-yah”
And that little bald guy, Elmer Fudd:
“How-ay-woo-yah”

(repeat chorus)

Oh that big old moose and his friend Rocky,
“Bullwinkle-loo-yah”
And our favourite bear named Yogi,
“Hey, Boo-Boo-loo-ya”
Then there’s all those little blue guys
And they’d sing, “Hah-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lay-loo-yah”
How about Beavis and that other guy?
“Nah!!”

Now, there’s a point to this looney-tune
I’m not an Anamaniac
But there’s a lot of praisin’ to do
And cartoons weren’t made for that
It’s our job
So, let’s sing hallelujah